I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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