So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize