She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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