this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I AM VODKA MAN
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
