I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
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