don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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