i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Houston, we have a squirter
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Randomize
