I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize