I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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