im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
