Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
