I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
