Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize