Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
