a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
His hands were made for my vagina.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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