Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
