Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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