its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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