sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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