Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
