The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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