I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize