I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Please don't give away my fajitas
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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