PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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