GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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