I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
