My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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