Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
