remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
