Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I had to cum in my sink.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
