we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
