The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
