Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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