Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
worst night to have a conscience
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Randomize
