Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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