he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
