So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize