but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
