The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
