We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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