When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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