I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Randomize
