I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
