i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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