I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
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It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
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We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
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