he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
