she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
