I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
