in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
