the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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