I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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