Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
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