just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
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