I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
