so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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