Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
