Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
i just had sex bonerless
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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