I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
