At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
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