is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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