He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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