A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
