I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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