i think my mom watched the whole time
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Randomize
