sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Randomize
